HELLO BLOG

HELLO WORLD

Okay so this is the first time I have made a blog that is not a joke. This creates an interesting scenario, as I only know how to parody others' blogs, and know nothing of what goes in to a blog of my own.

All I know is that my main man Jimmy T. says I need to have a blog, and so here it is. You're welcome, internet.

So I guess this is where I talk about things I do or like, and I will just step right in here and say that man howdy, have I had a thing for glass recently. I have worked with all kinds of materials before, for legitimate construction projects, art purposes, and projects that I started for fun and then quit and never touched again. (It is the god-given right of any man to quit a project whenever he wants, and never even think about it again. Anyone who says differently is probably a boring person who considers putting together Ikea furniture a "project")

Glass is one of those things that has always (rightly so) terrified me. There are few ways to salvage a glass item that you have messed up with, by even a little bit. Also, the splinters of it lodge in your hands are impossible to see to get out. When you start a glass project, you can't even afford to mess it up a little bit, because it will explode everywhere and then you have to start all over, and in addition to that, there is broken glass all over your workshop. That is not a fun combo.

But whatever, I want a set of mint julep glasses made outta Grolsch bottles. How the hell do you cut the top off a grolsch bottle, you ask? Well, don't try and score it freehand with a glass cutter, because you will mess it up every time. Even if you are Dr. Steadyhands McPerfect, your score marks will not match up. So, obviously, you gotta build a set of v-blocks. You score your bottle, heat it with a torch, quench it, and if you did it all right the top just pops off in your hand. If you did it wrong, the bottle has cracks in it that look minor but will cause it to explode for no reason if you touch it wrong. Also, sometimes you gotta snap off little bits of glass from the edges, which basically means that you are creating tiny shards of glass on purpose. My method for combatting this has been to do this chipping underwater, in a five-gallon bucket. What I am going to do with a five-gallon bucket full of water, bottle necks, and glass splinters has yet to be determined. But I am getting closer to having a full set. I have so far made two grolsch cups, and am in the process of wet-sanding the edges so that they don't cut your face when you drink from them. The edges are not as even as I like, but that is something that would have to be taken care of with grinding, I think. Screw that, man, these are loaded with home-y imperfection. I should sell them at a farmer's market for way too much money.

The bottles I have had the most luck with have been old-assed soda bottles. The glass is mega thick, and also pretty uniform. I made a nice pencil-holder out of a nehi bottle.

After that I might try and rig up a heating element from some nichrome resistor wire I acquired from high-school back in the day, and my car battery. (Nichrome wire is theoretically used to make your own rocket ignitors, danged if I was about to pay money for them suckers.)

We will see if this cures the problem I have been having with overheating the score-lines I have made in my bottles, which causes vertical cracking.

Today was a brush burning day out at the property. Combined with yesterday's Chainsaw Rodeo, I am feeling it in my arms and torso. There is only one cure: take the Honda out for a little Proficency Run. See you later, internet.